butt3r RETURNS!!!1

No, I didn't commit suicide while playing NBA 2K8 (although, I did consider it).

I've been out of it for a while. Once school began my life has felt like watching a fast-forwarded movie. I'm only taking two classes, but I've also taken on the job of being the editor for the arts & entertainment section (Life!) of FIU's student newspaper, which is what is taking up the majority of my time now.

It's been a complete 180 compared to the lifestyle I experienced in Italy, where everything was so relaxed -- so peaceful and slow.

Now, it seems like there aren't enough hours in the day. I'm constantly checking my e-mail, writing e-mails, assigning stories, and editing stories. We're a team of three in Life!, but for some reason, I feel like I should be the one with the majority of the load. I need a change of mindset.

I'm also taking the dreaded grammar class, "Writing Strategies," but that's going better than expected (so far). Aside from the paper and school, I still work one day a week at my part-time job as a "Traffic Manager" (data entry person and dispatcher) for DOT.

I await every weekend like a starving dog waits on a piece of bacon. I welcome it with open arms and then hump it. And then, it's all over too soon.

I wanted to update the blog with something video game related, but honestly, I haven't been able to play a darn thing. I sprinkle some 2K in my life whenever I get a chance, and I played the first half hour of God of War 2, and that's about it. If you're wondering, the first half hour of God of War 2 is badass, and NBA 2K8 is still a pain in the ass.

Hopefully I'll adjust and become a better manager with my time. Actually, I'll have to. Have you heard about all the shit coming out this fall?

Gears of War 2

Prince of Persia

Resistance 2

Fallout 3

Fable II

LEGO Batman

Spider-Man: Web of Shadows

NBA 2K9

LittleBigPlanet

Guitar Hero: World Tour

Rock Band 2 (already came out yesterday)

Saints Row 2

Mirror's Edge

Far Cray 2

Call of Duty: World at War

Yikes. Wish me luck. Or a winning lotto ticket.

A doppo, amici.

NBA 2K8 Online Pisses Me Off

Being an NBA aficionado, I always find myself playing NBA 2K during the off season. Only in the last two iterations of the franchise (2K7 and 2K8) have I taken my game online to take on fellow Xbox Live members. Upon my return from Italy though, it has come to my attention that it has become a bit more difficult to find a good game against someone online. Besides there not being too many people playing NBA 2K8 during NBA off season, there are also some connection issues with 2K Sports' beloved basketball sim that make it tough to even commence a game with certain players. Once a potential adversary is found, however, it becomes even more arduous to enjoy the ensuing twenty (or less) minutes of pixelated basketball action. This, of course, is due to the three different types of characters you'll find when venturing to play NBA 2K8 online, and I've done the human race a favor by categorizing them below.

The Cheesers
The Cheesers are actually a rare breed of pest. You won't encounter Cheesers very often, but when you do, they're probably just as annoying as the Quitters or Sore Losers. Like Quitters, there is more than one type of Cheeser.

Kobe Bryant Cheesers
I've always thought that the Kobe Bryant Cheesers should be given the benefit of the doubt, but I've changed my mind after seeing how some people use him in-game. Kobe, in real life, is almost unstoppable. Therefore, in NBA 2K8, he is almost unstoppable. But, Kobe, in real life, does not run up, down, sideways, and around in circles throughout the court while dribbling, hoping to finally, at some point, get open, and launch a shot. NBA 2K8 players, on the other hand, do exactly that, and actually have a lot of success with that strategy due to Kobe's insane (yet deserved) ratings.

Exploit Abusers
These Cheesers have found a way, no matter what team they play with, to somehow get down the court with their centers and power fowards faster than baseline photographers' shutter speeds. They inbound the ball to their point guard and then launch it down the court to their center or forward, whom is already waiting under the basket, with the nearest defender barely at the three-point line. Easy dunk. Of course, this strategy doesn't work one-hundred, or even seventy-five percent of the time, yet this strategy defeats the purpose of playing a basketball simulation videogame.

Normally, Cheesers also fall into the other categories below.

Quitters
These sacks of manure probably make up close to half of 2K's online population. The development team has worked hard to punish quitters any way they can with their online interface. Aside from a player losing rank for quitting, stats for how many times a player has quit or "dropped" from a game are kept on a player's 2K Player Card. These stats may be viewed at any time by fellow 2K players and are meant to inform a competitor that wants to play a game that he may be commencing a game with one of these pests. Quitters can be categorized into two different classes:

'Oh-No!-You-Just-Scored-Six-Straight-Points-On-Me' Quitters: A very frequently found quitter, these lowlifes take the time to adjust their camera angle and player matchups, only to quit upon the first sign of their opponent going on a run (something that is quite common in basketball and not necessarily a tell-tale sign for a loss). These quitters believe that only they, the superior player, should be able to go on a run, and therefore quit (in apparent disbelief) because someone has shown them otherwise. These quitters have also been spotted dropping games because their superstar misses their first seven three-pointers.

'Close-Game-but-It's-Evident-That-I-Will-Lose-in-the-Final-Seconds' Quitters: These guys are similar to the ONYJSSSPOM Quitters, but don't be fooled. These scums of the Earth are somewhat of a tease. They stick with you even after you've gone on your run, because they know that, eventually, they'll go on one of their own. But, once the game clock ticks closer and closer to that final buzzer, the CGBIETIWLITFS decide that they'd rather shave their grandmother's mustache than endure the final seconds of a game they have lost. You'll know you've encountered an CGBIETIWLITFS as you dribble the ball up the court, take a glance at the scorebox to see that you're up eight and there are only seven seconds left (and you decide to do the sportsman-like thing and just hold the ball until the time runs out), and suddenly your screen goes black -- your opponent has disconnected.

The Sore Losers
It's probably fair to say that whomever is not a quitter on 2K8 online is most likely a sore loser. These folks will play the whole game, let the final buzzer sound, and proceed to leave you negative feedback, making your 2K Rating go down (and in turn people will be less inclined to play with you). Common negative feedback comments given:

Verbally Abusive: ...Except you weren't even using a microphone.
Abused Some Exploits: Because Steve Nash just happened to go eight-for-twelve from the three-point line because your opponent always double teams the post on defense with his PG.
Poor Sportsmanship: Because you did not allow your opponent to get back into the game in the fourth quarter by just shooting half-court shots.

And there you have it folks. NBA 2K8 is a great basketball sim, and when played by two good samaritans, can be oodles of fun. Sadly, when playing NBA 2K8 online, you'll find that over half of the potential opponents playing online fall into one of these three categories.

Happy gaming, all!

Ciao, from Italia!

Ciao, ragazzi! Scrivo di Italia! (Hello, everyone! I write from Italy)

I've been meaning to post something up for quite some time, but I also wanted to include some pictures in my post, and sadly, I forgot to pack the USB chord that transfers pictures to a PC with me. Therefore, this will be a moslty pic-less post. I do, however, have one picture that was stolen from a friend's facebook account...


... and here it is.

Here I am with one of my fellow students, Wesley, in Narni, Italy (or Narnia, as it was called in Latin), showing the Narnians just how gangster we roll. We went to Narni on an excursion with all the students that came on the trip. That castle you see in the background is a monastery inhabited by one (1) monk. Yes, one. He lives in that giant castle by his friggin' self. We actually hiked all the way over there, and the bastard wouldn't even let us in. Oh well.

So far, my trip has been utterly amazing. It started off on the wrong foot when my flight had an overlay in Dusseldorf, Germany, though.

Upon arriving in Dusseldorf, the first thing my girlfriend and I tried to do was hail a cab (which in Germany, are almost all Mercedes-Benz'). The first cabby we hailed gave us this response when we asked him how much it would run us to get to our hotel:

"Do you need a taxi, or not?"

I guess it's true that many Europeans do not like Americans.

After our silent taxi ride, we arrived at our hotel, changed, and attempted to explore Germany for the few hours in which we'd be in the country. We tried to get onto the public tram, only to have the door slam shut in our face when we tried to get on. We looked over at the tramdriver, confused. She threw some crazy raindance looking gesture at us, and she took off.

That was my welcome to Europe.

A day later, we arrived in Rome, and thank the heavens that it has been exponentially better ever since. We took a private bus with our fellow students and two of our professors to Perugia, Italy, where we now live (until July 31).

Perugia's beauty is indescribable. It's a medieval city that is built on top of a mountain, composed of sloped roads, and gives the illusion that the buildings are stacked upon one another. The landscape was something of a shock to someone that is accustomed to Miami's below-sea-level surface. I live in a ridiculously small apartment, with a roommate, on the third floor of an old building (that doesn't have an elevator, ugh!) that is about a three minute walk from the heart of Perugia, which is where all the nice shops, restaurants, and beautiful people can be found. The main street is called Corso Vannucci, and if you've ever been to Lincoln Road in Miami, then you kind of get the picture of what Corso Vannucci is like.

Since arriving in Perugia, we've traveled to Rome and Florence via train.

In Rome, we went to Vatican City, went inside St. Peter's Basilica, and then immediately realized that for the rest of our lives we will never again see anything remotely comparable to its beauty. It's also a bit creepy at the same time. The interior of St. Peter's Basilica is 101 percent adorned with some sort of sculpture, painting or luxurious tile. And it's not like the church is small -- it is the largest church in the Catholic world. It's scary to imagine the power and wealth the church must've amassed to decorate the church as splendidly as they have. I had forgotten that Michaelangelo's La Pietà is on display there too, so I was in for quite a pleasant shock as soon as I walked in. I had never been so close to any of the Renaissance master's works.

La Pietà by Michaelangelo

I'd get used to being up close and personal with universally famous works of art as time progressed, though. After the Basilica, we hiked around the Vatican's wall over to the Sistine Chapel. I was overwhelmed when I layed eyes upon the real Sistine ceiling, it got me a bit teary-eyed just thinking that at twenty years old, I was actually doing what I had dreamt of doing since I was in middle school.

The next day, we checked out il Coliseo, which again, made me catch my breath upon entering. To realize that the ground you stand over has thousands of years of history trapped within it is an indescribable experience.

The following weekend, we traveled to Florence, in which I got to experience the David, Botticelli's Venus, some more Michaelangelo paintings and sculptures, a couple Carvaggios, a few da Vincis, and countless other works that, altough I was not previously familiar with, were equally intriguing.

David by Michaelangelo

The Birth of Venus by Sandro Botticelli

In Florence, I also got to see the Duomo, the Bronze Doors by Botticelli, and I haggled some of the merchants in the market for a tripod (from €10 to €5) and bracelet (from €20 to €8) for my girlfriend. Good times.

This weekend I stayed in Perugia to enjoy the Umbria Jazz festival, which has been going on since the ninth of July, I think. We saw KJ Denhert and Alicia Keys perform last night, which is something we probably could've done back home, but back home, we can't see her in Italy :P. Stay tuned, for next weekend, we plan to venture to Pompeii! I can't wait.

Doppo, amici! (Later, friends!)

Ciao! I'm Off to Italy!

I'll be back on August 1.

I'm going to try and update this thing with some pictures at some point throughout my trip. Stay tuned!

Arrivederci!

Metal Gear Solid 4 Afterthoughts

**This article is spoiler free**

Upon completing Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, I said this to myself without completely realizing it:

"Wow. This was a great movie."

Did I mean to say, "this was a great game."? Probably. Nonetheless, I found it quite amusing that I mixed up these two words, considering that I honestly felt like I was watching more cut-scenes than sneaking around and snapping necks while playing MGS4.

I digress.

MGS4 was an amazing game. I honestly think the way the game actually plays is, up to this point, unmatched. The refined controls are a few ticks away from flawless, the animation is crisp, smooth and realistic, and all of the new (one being not-so-new) environments are masterfully designed.

I can assure you that everything I just stated is not the speech of a blinded Metal Gear fanboy that praises anything Hideo Kojima's cat pees on. The actual gameplay really is perfect. That being said, I am downright disappointed that there just wasn't more of it. I've never felt so desperate for a cut-scene to end during a Metal Gear game -- and that isn't to knock the cut-scenes at all. The movie sequences are about as expertly directed as the gameplay is constructed, but to put things summarily...

they're just too long.

Apparently, Kojima Productions agrees with me on that note. During the prolonged mission briefings, the team decided to let players use the Metal Gear Mk. II/III while Snake and company talked it up. You can use the Mk. II/III to snoop around the Nomad (the plane that Otacon and Snake use to get around) and find items that'll aid you on your next mission. You can also take a look at the security cameras inside the Nomad instead of watch the cut-scene, but rolling around in the Mk. II/III is a lot more entertaining. I think the plot points that I still don't understand can be blamed on the fact that I was too busy ramming my Mk. II/III into Snake during the mission briefings instead of actually paying attention to all the talk about nanomachines and viruses.

Which brings up my second and final gripe about MGS4: I'm not a biomedical engineer or a rocket scientist, and therefore, I do not immediately grasp all the nanomachine hullabaloo. Sadly, that is a bit detrimental to my overall experience, especially since I've been such a huge fan of the story since I played the original. The original MGS had a story that kind of went in that direction, but still remained relatively easy to follow because genes, memes, zenes and wenes were not as prominent as they are in MGS4. The original probably has one of the greatest stories ever told on any video game platform. Metal Gear Solid 3 was similar in that sense, due to the fact that it took place in the 1960's, and nanomachine technology was not around at that time (thank God).

Besides these two hiccups in my experience, this game was simply stunning. It's one of the few titles I encounter every now and then that actually compell me to continue playing even after completing it. There are so many ways to conquer a level that I find myself constantly beating, then reloading a stage just to try and best it in a different way.

Perhaps I'm disappointed by the lack of more gameplay because I know that Solid Snake's tenure as the protagonist of Metal Gear games is finally over (Kojima stated this is the last game in the Solid series). Either way, Snake goes out with a bang. Guns of the Patriots is a masterpiece from the frenetic introduction that takes place on a Middle-Eastern battlefield, to the epic final boss fight against ______ that takes place on top of ___________.

I bought a PlayStation3 for this game. If you don't have one, I suggest you do the same.

Cheerio!

Another 10?! Metal Gear Solid 4 Impressions

"I've been waiting for MGS4 since I was two!" yelled out one of about thirty or so males in line for the midnight release of MGS4 at my local Gamestop. Mind you, the kid couldn't be over twenty years of age (and no, it wasn't me).

The midnight release was actually a lot less chaotic than I expected. While the lines that formed for the launch of other recent titles, such as Halo 3 and Super Smash Bros. Brawl, were absolute madness, MGS4's launch was relatively quiet. Even an hour before the release, there were no more than twenty people hanging around Gamestop's front door. Some intently read their MGS4 special edition manuals, while others in line attempted to negotiate a deal with those whom were towards the front of the line -- in order to get their hands on the scarce MGS4/PS3 bundle.

"C'mon, I'll give you eight-hundred for it," implored one desperate gamer to another, the ladder simply shaking his head.

I would've felt the failed negotiator's pain, but thanks to some perseverance, I managed to actually get an MGS4/PS3 bundle held on the side for me. Five-hundred-and-thirty-four dollars of my hard-earned cash vanished that Wednesday night, and honestly folks, after playing about five or six hours into MGS4 already, I can say it's been worth every cent.

Of course, you don't have to take my word for it. Check out Jeff Haynes' review here.

Yup. Another 10.

I won't agree or disagree with the score just yet, seeing how I'm only a few hours into the game, but if I had to rate what I've played so far...

Yeah, 10 sounds about right.

The cinematography is pure art. The dialog, characterization, character design, the this-could-be-our-world undertone is the work of an absolute mastermind. The visuals, from the newly designed HUD, newly designed pause menu, to the way Snake's OctoCamo suit blends into its environment are simply jaw-dropping and drool-inducing. The actual gameplay is just... you get my drift? The game reinvents itself while still maintaining that elemental, suspenseful me-against-the-world super-spy stealth-action.

The game's level design (so far) is a lot more reminiscent to MGS3's. No narrow hallways with completely conspicuous security cameras or locked sliding doors that require a level-9 card to pass through. The levels are expansive and, thanks to the new behind the back, right-analog-controlled camera, are easier to navigate than MGS3's environments. The new camera also makes the transition between indoor and outdoor environments a lot easier.

The new aiming system is perfect. It feels as Konami meant to create a shooter. Pressing L1 now draws your weapon and brings the camera over Snake's shoulder. A yellow reticule appears on-screen and you can now aim in all directions -- while moving -- without going into first person mode. A click of the R1 button fires your weapon, and if you want get a more precise shot, slap the triangle-button to go into first-person mode. Snake can now move while in first-person mode as well. Shooting around in first-person mode almost feels like you're not playing an MGS game -- but I mean that in a most positive way, because the first person shooting in MGS2 and 3 was quite horrendous (what kind of legendary soldier stands completely still while shooting anyway?).

Go get this game now.

On a completely different note, I saw The Incredible Hulk tonight. That was good.

I also finally beat GTA4. Great game. Definitely overhyped, though.

Oh, and sorry for the lack of pictures, but it's been brought to my attention that whenever I post a picture up here without permission, the fleas of a thousand camels might infest my groin region. Therefore, here's a pretty entertaining video from YouTube for you.



See you next time folks. Same butt-time. Same butt-channel...

It's Been a While...

... Kind of.

It hasn't been that long, but I know, I've disappointed many of you by not doing my weekly (or semi-weekly) update. Not to worry. School is finally over as of today, and Thursday I'll be posting some pics of the MGS4 launch and writing a bit about it.

'Til then...

Ciao!

NBA Fines Floppers Starting Next Season

Hallelujah!


The NBA will finally begin to do what they should have been doing for quite some time now. Watching some of the games in the playoffs for the past couple of seasons has been a tremendously frustrating experience with famed floppers Manu Ginobili and Bruce Bowen throwing themselves onto the hardwood every other possession.

Check out this ridiculousness:



I highlight Manu partly because I'm somewhat of a Suns fan, but I won't deny that even Suns' commit these heinous plays.

Here's Raja Bell auditioning to be a Hollywood stunt man:



I hope the NBA comes down hard on these guys. It's time to cut the feces. I'm tired of looking back at close games and wondering what the outcome would've been if a flop that was called hadn't been called.

Other notable floppers:

Robert Horry
Richard Hamilton
Andres Nocioni
Andrei Kirilenko
Anderson Varejao
Pau Gasol
James Posey
Tayshaun Prince

I'm sure I'm missing several more. Can anyone refresh my memory?

Before I go, here's one last video for good measure:



Wow.

Later.

butt3r's Most Anticipated Games for Summer 2008

I know the holiday season is normally the time of year when all the stellar titles come out, but I'm pretty stoked about a lot of games that are actually coming out sometime this summer. Sadly (but not really), I'll be in Italy for the whole month of July, so I won't have much playing time while I'm there, but when I get back I'll have more games to play than there are Atari E.T cartridges in New Mexico's landfills. Here's a list of some of 'em:

NINJA GAIDEN 2

Ryu Hayabusa returns to his ninja nunchucking ways in Ninja Gaiden 2 next week. The first Gaiden came out on the Xbox back in 2004, and it was immediately hailed a masterpiece in its genre. Hopefully, Gaiden II outdoes its predecessor by fixing the sometimes awkward camera angles and delivering even more great, gut-spilling gameplay.

GUITAR HERO: AEROSMITH

I've never been an avid Aerosmith fan, but there's something oh-so-satisfying about nailing some of their tricky riffs i n Guitar Hero II & III. Whether that merits their own game is up for debate, but this'll undoubtedly be a nice way to hold us wannabe rock stars down until Guitar Hero: World Tour (or Rock Band 2) comes out. The game will feature a variety of Aerosmith tracks dating back to the band's humble beginnings, as well as some non-Aerosmith tracks from artists that have either performed alongside the legendary rock band or influenced them in some manner. Sadly, although the game seems like an expansion pack, it'll still set you back the standard $59.99 -- a price that leaves Steven Tyler's mouth agape.

SOUL CALIBUR IV

(** Movie guy voice**) In a world where scantily-clad, well-endowed women face off against the dark side...

And of course...

METAL GEAR SOLID 4:

GUNS OF THE PATRIOTS

If I were one of the journalists invited to Konami in Japan a couple of months back to play MGS4 before its release, then I could have honestly died happily and fulfilled a week later. This game, like MGS3, MGS2, and MGS before it, looks absolutely amazing. Solid Snake returns in what should be the series finale of Metal Gear Solid. Kojima Productions has done away with the trademark MGS bird-eye view camera and gone with the more conventional player-controlled system. Early previews have raved about the masterfully constructed Middle-Eastern setting, the superb cinematography, and new, smooth stealth mechanics. Game of the year, anyone? I can't wait until June 12th.

And since I made a movie-guy-voice reference earlier, check out his cameo in this MGS4 trailer.

G'day folks!

The Next 'Real' FPS

I was reading Matt Casamassina's blog today, and his latest post was about the new first-person shooter Mirror's Edge, developed by DICE. I watched the trailer, and I was pretty impressed with the gameplay (if it was indeed, actually gameplay), as well as the presentation of the first-person mode, as Matt mentions he is a fan of as well. I'm guessing Matt liked it for the same reason I did, and that's because most FPS' aren't literally played in the first-person. Does anyone really have a gun protruding from their right cheekbone? Can we not see our torso and feet if we were to take a gander towards the ground? The only recent major title that did something like this was Halo 3 (and Halo 2 before it), but Bungie simply showed us the Chief's skinny lil' legs dancing around -- it wasn't something that gave Halo any style points. Call of Duty 4 actually does a decent job, but it still doesn't seem quite right. DICE looks like it may actually hit the nail on its head with Mirror's Edge. Check out the trailer below.



I can answer Matt's question as to why more developers don't try making FPS' in this style, though. Remember the Xbox first-person shooter Breakdown? 'Nuff said.

Hopefully Mirror's Edge ends up being as good as it looks.

Adios, amigos!

Best Game Since Ocarina of Time? Grand Theft Auto IV Impressions...

By now, many of you have probably already taken the dive into Grand Theft Auto IV's Liberty City. You've ran around, driven around, shot at pedestrians, and had a few pixels of animated breasts in main character Niko's face. But has GTA4 lived up to your hype?

In the days before GTA4's release, I must admit I was not at all too excited about the game. I was a huge fan of GTA3. I probably put about 200 hours of my life into it, but Vice City and San Andreas never quite struck me as well as GTA3 did (although I did play through them), and I thought GTA4 would simply be another rehash of GTA3.


And then came that big ol' 10 score from IGN's Hilary Goldstein (check out his review here), in which he states:

"Without question, Grand Theft Auto IV is the best game since Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time."

After I read Hilary's entire review, I suddenly felt like a child waiting for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve again. IGN hadn't given a perfect score to a game since 1999, and GTA4 made it a total of only three games in IGN's ten-year history that a game received a perfect score. The other two games, you ask?

• The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (N64)

• Soul Calibur (Dreamcast)

I can't speak for Soul Calibur (I've never played it beyond a pick-up-and-play match at a friend's house years ago), but is GTA4 really on the same level as OOT?

Don't get me wrong, GTA4 is a truly amazing game. I'm absolutely addicted to it. I daydream about it while I'm parading around town with friends, while I sit wasting my life away at work, and I'll admit I've even dreamed of living the wild life in Liberty City while I'm snoozing and drooling on my pillow at night. As a matter of fact, earlier tonight, I had told Karina I'd go over to watch The Golden Compass, and before leaving, I had to sneak in a few minutes of GTA4 time (Please don't be mad babe!).

"Hey, babe. Are you coming?"

"Er, eventually," I responded as I turned too wide at a corner and slammed my Turismo into a newspaper bin, sending dozens of newspapers flying about.

I did go over eventually, but it honestly pained me to turn my Xbox360 off. Anyway...

Ocarina of Time was a game that redefined what a 3D free-roaming adventure game should be. Sure, Mario 64 was one of the originators, but there wasn't much else to exploring the castle besides finding another picture frame to jump into. OOT gave free-roaming gamers an incredible experience, even if they never ventured deeply into the story. There were different locales to explore, different items to collect, and different characters to meet. It's safe to say that OOT may be what has inspired any open-world game ever since. That is why OOT deserved a 10. OOT was the benchmark for the next decade of 3D action-adventure titles.

Now, is it safe to say that GTA4 also deserves a 10? Sure, the game has incorporated several innovations that are simply stunning. The Euphoria engine is just downright badass. Ragdoll physics, but with a neurological layer that actually let's characters respond to being hit? Wow. Niko actually throws his hands out in front of him before getting into an inevitable crash. Pedestrians reach for their arm in pain if they are shot there. It brings a new level of realism to the GTA experience. Rockstar truly outdid itself with its return to Liberty City. It's mostly the subtle things, like the neurological system in Euphoria, that really bring GTA4 to life. The connections Niko makes with secondary characters via phone calls, text messages, e-mails, and dates is another aspect that makes the title all the more enjoyable. Most of these extracurricular activities are completely optional, yet you feel as if your obligated to give your cousin Roman a call every now and then to hang out, because you don't want him to feel neglected. You truly do want to get a new outfit to impress Michelle the next time you take her over to the cabaret show. You can play through the entire game without taking some time to check out the television in your apartment, but if you do, you'd be in for a treat, as there is a hilarious cartoon show spoof on Halo, a talk show that takes place in a men's restroom, and other equally humorous shows. What Rockstar has done, is taken the 3D open-world, free-roaming adventure genre, and tweaked it almost to the point of perfection.

Sure, there are still some things that some (or maybe just I) would expect to be a given when Hilary Goldstein teases us with "a living city." Still though, pedestrians wander around the streets of Liberty City aimlessly, sometimes sputtering irrelevant quips at Niko as they cross paths with GTA4's lead character. A "living" city to makes me want to believe that if I camped out of someones home until 7 a.m. or so, I'd see them walk out of their home and into their car, as they head out to work. If I went over to this person's job while they were working, and "borrowed" their car, I want to see them get out of work at 5 p.m., throw a tantrum because their car is missing, hop into a cab, and then be relieved and puzzled at the same time as they arrive home to find their car back in its spot (where I had conveniently taken it). Why don't people actually have destinations? Strip clubs are hot spots at night in real life. Why isn't the parking lot jam-packed when the sun goes down? Why aren't there people at the basketball court? I know that is a lot to ask for. It's probably impossible, given the billion or so algorithms of A.I. Rockstar would have to write, but that's what I want a living, breathing Liberty City to be.

The major accomplishment for Rockstar is definitely Liberty City itself. The city is HUGE. Gargantuan. It's that old six-foot pizza that Pizza Hut used to make back in 94'. They've included a social structure similar to any booming metropolis. You'll find the crazies walking around in the less-affluent parts of town, the suits strumming along downtown, and the taxi drivers running you over at almost every corner. They've made Liberty City seem like a real place. Again, it's the subtle details, like covered potholes in the roads, graffiti-laden back alleys, dirty subway stations, and peaceful suburban communities that really make it seem like Liberty City isn't just a random location floating in an imaginative world.

I could write for ages on what makes GTA great, and then again on what's missing that would make it as revolutionary as OOT, or even it's predecessor, GTA3. However, I still can't figure out whether I think this game deserves a 10, not just from IGN, but from the media in general. A 10 from IGN means that a game is "masterful." If that were simply the case, then yes, GTA4 is masterful, so it deserves a 10. Something tells me there should be more to it than that. Either way, if you haven't already, go get it now.

See you soon, folks!

Leave some comments about your GTA4 experience! Does it really deserve a 10? Why? Why not? Do you like cookies and cream? Tell me about it! E-mail me! Tell your parents all about me! Invite me to dinner!

When Life Gives You Lemons...

...You paint that shit gold!

I know, I said I'd see you next week, but I couldn't help it.

This week has been full of good music so far.

On Tuesday, Atmosphere's new album, "When Life Gives You Lemons You Paint That Shit Gold," came out, and I went to the Honda Civic Tour last night, which was a blast.

First, the Atmosphere album: it's amazing. It's definitely different compared to any of Slug and Ant's old stuff. This album has some, I guess you could say, "modern" hip-hop, as far as the beats go. There are some downright bass-heavy, slow-paced beats that'll make you wonder if Ant had an epiphany while listening to T.I. But, of course, there are several tracks that feature Ant's catchy trademarked drum and piano beats. The track "Yesterday," one of the songs with a "traditional" beat, had the most memorable tune, in fact it's probably the most memorable song on the album. The song just drips with an inescapable feeling of reminiscence, as Slug raps about a friendship that went wrong and how he regrets it. It has a pretty interesting twist at the end: a twist that actually got me a bit teary-eyed. Like the last album, "You Can't Imagine How Much Fun We're Having," all of the songs on this album have some serious themes and undertones. The album is really moody, but it's not in a bad way. Slug goes into different topics like cigarette addiction, suicide, and emotionally abusive relationships. He's still a master storyteller: you'd swear that he actually lived the life of the woman trying to cope with her life and her crappy boyfriend on the track "Dreamer." His lyrics are still incredible. There's some very deep, deep poetic shizzle on this album.


"All of us cut from the same damn cloth / Some of us never cut the price tags off..." -- Slug, "Like the Rest of Us"

Panic at the Fillmore!

The Honda Civic Tour came to Miami last night. Phantom Planet, The Hush Sound, Motion City Soundtrack, and Panic at the Disco all came out to perform at the Jackie Gleason Theater down in South Beach. My girlfriend, Peter, Shany, and I all went together, and I think it's safe to say we all had a good time.

We walked into the theater around 7 p.m., and, much to my surprise, it was already packed as Phantom Planet was about half-way into their set. I had never heard them before, and I was pleasantly surprised by them; they played some good ro ck n' roll type stuff. My girlfriend and I sat in the first floor's mezzanine, while Peter and Shany sat on the second floor. The seats weren't that great, but it thankfully didn't ruin the experience.

The Hush Sound came out after Phantom Planet and did their thing. Their stuff was pretty cool too. It kind of made you want to dance, but it was nothing out of this world in my opinion. There's just something about female lead singers in rock bands that just doesn't turn me on. I can hear your sexist remarks already...

Motion City Soundtrack, one of the greatest bands ever assembled in the history of the universe, came on next. It was the second time I saw Motion live, and although I enjoyed it more the first time I saw them, their performance was still energetic and entertaining. I got to meet the band after their performance. Justin Pierre gave me a hug, which Shany totally missed on camera, and the band signed my album and t-shirt.

Finally, Panic at the Disco came on, and I then began to seriously reconsider ever having children.

See, if I have children, then there is a fifty-fifty chance that that child may turn out to be a female.

If, in fact, my child is a female, then she was God-willing someday become an adolescent.

I now officially despise female adolescents.

Two of them sat directly behind me, and they both started yelling like maniacs, at the top of their lungs, as if someone was chopping away at their toes with garden scissors, at the s ight of Brendon Urie. My ears are still ringing. I turned around once and gave them my super-intimidating menace look, but sadly, it was to no avail. Any time Brendon spoke, or Ryan Ross spoke, or even just for the hell of it, they yelled like castrated Tarzans.

Brendon Urie says: STFU JOO LITTLE BITCHES!

Sigh.

Besides that... Panic was great.

They played a bunch of the songs from their first album, except they were played without the funky electronic sounds. They simply turned them into straightforward rock songs. Brendon performed an acoustic version of my all-time favorite Panic song, "Time to Dance," and Ryan got to show off his solo vocals on "Behind the Sea."

After the show, ears still ringing, we walked over to Lincoln Road, had some pizza and ice cream, spotted Justin Pierre eating with his family (he put a face like 'Aw, shit, they found me), and went on home to stop the bleeding in our ears.

And that's the post for today, ladies and gents. Sorry if I haven't been getting back to the IM's. I can't hear them.

Toodles!

Comment my blog! E-mail me! Tell me your story about yelling adolescent females! What do you think of Atmosphere's new album? Have you shaved a kitten this week? Let me know!

"Remember your first..."

Hello, friends, and welcome to my blog! Thank you for taking time out of your busy, fulfilling lives to read this thing -- I hope someone actually is.

Those of you who know me well should have no trouble reading my blog because you're accustomed to my personality. Those of you who have no idea who butt3r is, well, you should. I kid!

But seriously, for those of you who don't know me, I figured I'd waste some space with some quick facts about myself, so that you, the beautiful, intelligent reader that will comment, e-mail me, and check my page often, may begin to get to know me.

• I'm an avid gamer and basketball enthusiast. Go HEAT! (I know they sucked this season. Shut up.)
• I write for the Florida Int'l University student newspaper, The Beacon (fiusm.com), which has been a pretty great experience. I write for the arts and entertainment section of the newspaper, and I've gotten to meet and interview some interesting people and some of my favorite bands. They also published my first game review (for Super Smash Bros. Brawl). Yay!
  
• The real reason people started calling me butter is because I couldn't catch a damn football in the tenth grade.
• I have a wonderful girlfriend. Check out her blog: kjc00.blogspot.com
• I'll be going to Italy this summer on a study abroad program with my university. My girlfriend will be accompanying me. I'm very much looking forward to it.
  
• I aspire to someday write for EGM, IGN, OPM, OXM, GI, or any other gaming publication/website. Wish me luck.
  

Well, now that we're acquainted, let's move on to what is really important, like...

METAL GEAR SOLID 4: GUNS OF THE PATRIOTS

The Metal Gear Solid series and I share a very touching history.

Back in 1998, I had a Sony PlayStation. For the most part, my PlayStation was used as an unconventional decoration. It sat on my dresser, next to my TV, and I occasionally used it to play NBA Live '98 with my father. I was never really into gaming. I was a go outside/ride my bike/play basketball kind of kid.

That Christmas, my grandfather asked me to tell him any video game that I would like. He said that the game had to be sold at Target (so that he could use his new Target credit card), and that it would be my Christmas gift.

I surveyed a few of my friends that were into gaming and they unanimously voted Metal Gear Solid as the game I should ask for. At first I was a bit skeptical. I had seen one of my buddies play it once, and all I could remember was that there was a lot of talking.

I decided to actually trust my friends, and I told my grandpa' to get me Metal Gear.

Christmas came, and lo' and behold, Metal Gear Solid was stuffed into my stocking. I began to play it, expecting the worst...

Holy bat testicles, I was an idiot.

Metal Gear Solid captured me. It made me play for hours on end with my mouth agape, drooling all over my Alonzo Mourning jersey. It made me scream and shut off my PlayStation in fear when I looked through the small glass window, into the hallway full of the soldiers that Gray Fox slaughtered. It surprised me. It made me think. It educated me. It made me go through puberty.

Up until that point in my life, I never thought a video game could be so captivating. I thought the furthest a gaming experience went was the satisfaction you'd get from pulling off a Fatality in Mortal Kombat. Holy bat testicles, does not even begin to explain the way MGS blindsided me.

When the game was over, I played it again, and again. I played it one more time, for good measure, after that, and ever since, I've bought every video game console I could, read magazines, and stalked game websites in search of the next captivating experience. I've found many that come close, and many that don't came anywhere near, but are still entertaining.

Now, ten years later, Solid Snake is an lil' old man, and he might make his last appearance in MGS4.

I don't have a PlayStation3 yet, but you can bet your grandparents' suppositories that I'll have one come June 13.

Is anyone a little pissed off though?

The original MGS let us play as Solid Snake the whole way, which was bad ass, because he is a bad ass.

In Metal Gear Solid 2, we get to play as him for like, what? Thirty seconds? And then we have to play as that whiny, annoying retard Raiden.

Metal Gear Solid 3 puts us in the shoes of Big Boss, which, don't get me wrong, is great.

But...

MGS4 is the only 'real' sequel to Snake's story. Yes, I know that there are bits and pieces here and there in MGS2, and we learn a few secrets in MGS3, but MGS4 will be the only game in which we (hopefully) get to play completely as Snake. And now he's old! We won't ever get a true sequel in which we could play as Sexy Snake.

That's right, he's sexy.

Oh, and the Metal Gear Ac!d titles don't count.

See you next week, folks!

Leave me a comment! Tell me your Metal Gear memories. Write me an e-mail. Request me on your local radio station! Add me on myspace! myspace.com/tehbutt3r